Trouble for 22

Drunken rugby team arrested after female player run over by two-ton Prop as she slept in tent
By The Doube Deuce
Los Angeles March 3, 2010

A woman rugby player is lucky to be alive after drunken yobs pushed a two-ton prop into her tent as she slept, fracturing her skull, kinking her weave and hurting her feelings.


The 'prank' also left Lucy Splitlip with facial injuries after she was crushed by the huge wad-of-chewing-gum man, which was rolled down a hill.


The 26-year-old had been camping at the All Nic-Names Rugby Club, near Orange County where she was due to play in a competition.

Lucy Splitlip was hit by the large prop as she slept



The 5ft-wide, beer bellied prop careened into her tent at 1am on Saturday, narrowly missing two friends.


She was taken to a local hospital before being airlifted 75 miles to the specialist neurology unit at OhSnap Memorial Goodtimes Hospital.


After she was discharged last night, she said: 'I guess heard him coming, but I just thought he was breathing heavy. There was like a lot of banging and then I heard people laughing.


'I stopped his gunt with my face. My face was numb so I couldn't feel much. I have had a lucky escape…these black eyes didn’t just happen spontaniously you know.'

Police arrested 21 members of a Team that claims all their jerseys were recently lost. Police arrested Little Hos, Dirty Sanchez, Pudding Shooter, and a host of other players only able to respond to nic-names. They have all been released on bail, with the exception of a young man who is only referred to as, The Double Deuce.



Number 22 was found to be the mastermind of the prank. "Hell, all I had to do was throw a ding dong down the hill and gravity took over. I can't be held responsible...did I ever tell you about the time I scored 6 tries against the Armada...it was awesome"

Miss Split Lip's team, the Puntcunt Falcons, were camping in a field by the club, where they were due to play in the annual Festival of Sevens or Eights, Whatever We Have Rugby Tournament.

One witness said yesterday: 'Emma and her friends had gone to bed. I saw some strap ons and possibly a rocket propelled vibrator...normal rugby stuff."

'There were three of them in the tent when lads from a visiting club thought it would be fun to set the prop free. 'It was on the top of a slight hill and they pushed it to get it going, knowing there were people camping in its path.

Police are refusing to comment on what happened to the prop. Witnesses say they still saw him rolling near Norco. As for Double Deuce, police claim that when he was returned to his cell, he turned to the officer and yelled, "How does every good rugby song end...duh duh da dunt dunt dunt...tits! and he disappeared.

Ricardo Montalban contributed to this article.