To: Pasadena RFC.
Re: An Essay
A couple weeks ago, I had the tremendous opportunity to play against the storied Pasadena RFC. Not only did I leave Pasadena with great image of a great club, but also without the team set of game jerseys. After a few weeks of holding my breath, as well as being berated, abused and badly treated. I was informed that the jerseys were safely in the hands of gentlemen and had not been defaced… or at least to the best of my knowledge.
This is the question, “what makes a Pasadena Rugby great? First off, anyone with distaste for the filthy cunts of eagle rock are already aces in my book. Secondly, my observation of your drink up was one of a fun bunch of guys who are to be commended for their treatment of rookies, as well as their token vegetarian. I have not seen a club with such an appreciation for meat (of course that statement excludes the Rebellion and Armada). Third, upon visiting your clubs website I was impressed with your charitable contributions to the Ronald McDonald house, while being classy enough about it to not write a full Wikipedia page about how charitable you are... (Cough, cough, sniffle, OMBAC). However, maintaining just enough ego to require this essay about your own greatness.
Seriously though thank you very much for the safe return of the jerseys (and my ass) and best of luck this season.
Andy
OC Bucks (Dumb ass who left the Jerseys behind)
Friday, February 26, 2010
The Pick Up
The exchange was made. Our post practice bar was littered with players wearing Bucks jerseys...we all felt just a little bit dirty after wearing them...partly because they hadn't been washed and partly because who knows what diseases the Bucks have? Some of the jerseys were lofted into the rafters, forcing the 4'11' Ito to use a scissor lift to retrieve them.
The letter was handed over shamefully, the Scotch was wheeled in on a dolly and the number 22 jersey was held...knowingly...by PRFC as punishment. This jersey would become part of PRFC.
The Double Deuce
OPTIONS
A meeting of the minds was called...a virtual pantheon of rugby greatness convened after practice to determine the most appropriate punishment!
Several ideas were discussed…
All were abandoned, basically because we enjoyed coming up with the ideas…but didn’t really want to expend the calories to actually DO anything that creative. Rugby players tend to be quite lazy when it comes to things of this nature.
In the end, the following was decided…
The Bucks agreed to our demands (which pretty much means we didn’t ask for enough!!). Damn it…next time!
The Double Deuce
Several ideas were discussed…
1. Burning them.
2. Giving them to the homeless
3. Sewing them together and then returning them
4. Stitching or writing PRFC on the collars.
All were abandoned, basically because we enjoyed coming up with the ideas…but didn’t really want to expend the calories to actually DO anything that creative. Rugby players tend to be quite lazy when it comes to things of this nature.
In the end, the following was decided…
1. The Bucks would have to come get the jerseys at our drink up after Thursday practice…
2. The Bucks would provide us with a letter of apology
3. The bucks would provide us with a very large bottle of scotch.
The Bucks agreed to our demands (which pretty much means we didn’t ask for enough!!). Damn it…next time!
The Double Deuce
Hey um....has any one seen our Jerseys?
Four days after the Game...OC Bucks president mass emails PRFC with the, "
Response was swift..."
A plan was developed!
hey...um... did any of you guys pick up our jerseys after the game...we can't find them?"
Response was swift..."
I don't know...we can look around."
A plan was developed!
And it begins...
It was a rainy day…so rainy that it was actually kinda amazing that we were able to play rugby. Rainy day rugby is actually pretty rare in Southern California; most teams play on school fields and the threat of tearing up a field pretty much cancels everything more forceful than a winger shitting.
There was nothing odd about the game itself; it was a well-fought game between old rivals. The outcome of the game didn’t matter much (we won), as it was a preseason game.
Saturday is a rugby day! It also means that Saturday is a, “somebody better take the jerseys home and wash them day.” A rookie always volunteers (hey rookie, wash the jerseys…don’t be a dick!) to wash them and they, hopefully, get returned by the next practice. There are many stupid things a rookie can do when in charge of the jerseys. But the worst would be…
As a former team president, I always had my asshole puckered until I would see the jerseys show up to the next practice. If I had to wait till the next game day…well…I could make diamonds down there.
Imagine the shit-throw that would go down if a rookie lost the jerseys…
The Double Douce
There was nothing odd about the game itself; it was a well-fought game between old rivals. The outcome of the game didn’t matter much (we won), as it was a preseason game.
Saturday is a rugby day! It also means that Saturday is a, “somebody better take the jerseys home and wash them day.” A rookie always volunteers (hey rookie, wash the jerseys…don’t be a dick!) to wash them and they, hopefully, get returned by the next practice. There are many stupid things a rookie can do when in charge of the jerseys. But the worst would be…
1. Don’t wash them. Unwashed jerseys stink like shit on shit..
2. Don’t wash them, leave them in the bag and leave them in the bag…wet.
3. Leave them at home.
4. Leave them at the field
As a former team president, I always had my asshole puckered until I would see the jerseys show up to the next practice. If I had to wait till the next game day…well…I could make diamonds down there.
Imagine the shit-throw that would go down if a rookie lost the jerseys…
The Double Douce
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